The Afterwords
by Milsteria
Summary: The universe seems to have righted itself, in a very wrong way. What is, is, but Kagome is no where near accepting of that fact. [IYKH, implied.]


This is how it could have gone: 

"Kagome! Hey, wait up!"

She stopped her climb up the stairs and turned around. Five minutes late already, why not make it ten? They've been doing review for a week straight anyway. It's not like she could be blamed if she'd rather stop and chat with- her heart skipped.

Her old high school friends were fast approaching. Two of them just, and still attached to the hip. They skipped up the sidewalk to her.

There was an almost awkward pause before Ari spoke.

"How long's it been? Two, three years now?"

"Um, yeah, I think so. Time flies, ya know?"

"Yeah... so, how's it been? You still going to that nice school?"

She could barely stop her lip curling at the word 'nice'. The place was a competitive hell. "Yup, still going! Not much fun, but I guess it'll set me up."

"Everyone was so surprised at how well you did in the last couple of exams. You totally deserve it what with... you know." They were still smiling.

Kagome laughed. "Oh, yeah. I wasn't that surprised, honestly. If you're bedridden with various sicknesses for a couple of years it definitely gives you time to do nothing but study."

Both of them blinked, their smiles a bit less sure. "You're all better then?"

Boxes upon boxes of medicinal doodads were still packed up in the attic, she was never really sure when it would be safe to donate them all without causing any raised eyebrows. "Yes! Full recovery."

'Full recovery', pff. That was all she ever said about her illnesses. What else could she say?

"That's wonderful, I'm glad to hear it. Well, um, it's been nice seeing you again."

"Totally Kagome, give us a call sometime, eh?"

Kagome smiled. They really did seem like they were glad to see her. "For old times sake, definitely."

Yuki grinned. "Old? Not yet!" And with that they were gone, further up the street and in the direction that Kagome was supposed to be going.

Well, there was nothing for it. Kagome turned around and headed off in the opposite direction, back to the shrine.

Old? She was pretty sure she wasn't old, but she hadn't been exaggerating. It honestly seemed as though it had been ages, ages, and ages since she'd last seen her-

. . . Her old high school acquaintances.

Her old high school acquaintances who dredged up memories that were better left forgotten. Oh, gods. Memories that were better left untouched forever.

Ages, ages, and ages. That was exactly how long it's been since she last saw her real friends. Her true friends.

Ages since she last touched the Jewel, pure and whole at her fingertips.

Ages since it was destroyed, and the whole universe rushed in to fix the now unnecessary ripple in time.

Unnecessary Ripple: Kagome Higurashi, one modern-era girl stuck in the Warring States period? Quickly fixed, the second the universe didn't need her.

She still couldn't stand sunrise. It was at sunrise they destroyed the jewel, and at sunrise she herself grew translucent.

It had been slow- and that was the only reason she was sane today.

She began fading very gradually. The first rays of the day filtered through her, clothes and all, opaque onto the grass she had been sitting on.

The others panicked, surrounded her, tried to touch her. Shippo had started crying right off the bat, and still she wondered if he had known so early on what had been happening. He had been so panicked, had tried to cling to her with more ferocity than all of them.

Inuyasha had stood by her, looking helpless and grasping at her hand, trying to touch her hair as Miroku began chanting.

Silly of them to think that any kind of holy power could stop what was happening, when it was a power beyond them all pulling the strings.

Sango was the first to start forgetting.

It was strange, and now that Kagome thought about it maybe not so strange, that she would have been the first. She'd think that Sango, who was her best friend in the world, would cling- but no, she was always much more sensible.

She just looked at Kagome one moment, panicked and concerned, blinked, and asked, "Who are you?" as though they had never met.

Miroku stopped chanting, Inuyasha clenched his hands, and Shippo let out a soft choked noise.

It had taken a couple of tries, but finally Sango remembered again and started crying. They were all pretty much crying by then, Shippo wouldn't stop saying her name. "Kagome, Kagome, Kagome."

Kagome saw no way out, couldn't move much, but kept telling all of them how much she loved them, over and over.

By the time the sky began to darken they all had forgotten about her for at least a couple of hours, while the other one or two forced them to remember.

By the time the sun disappeared behind the mountains, they had all forgotten. They just stood and stared at her nearly-gone slightly illuminated form as though they had never seen her, but were transfixed, nonetheless.

She was still telling them how much she loved them.

Again, Sango was the first to say anything after a long pause in which Kagome never stopped telling them. Her voice was quite, but firm, "I... I think I love you too."

Shippo began to nod, then stopped, bewildered when he realized he was crying. "I want you to hug me. I love you. Really, I really think I love you." He still looked beyond confused when he sobbed out his final question, "Are you my mom?"

Miroku looked at his hands, as though they would hold the answers, before looking back up at Kagome. "I am..." his mouth seemed to crumple involuntarily. "...devastated."

Inuyasha. He had been the worse. Over, and over, he reached out as though he wanted to pull her to him. At times he would reach for his sword, a no-doubt ingrained compulsion to protect her that probably itched at his subconscious.

His mouth would flatten into a line whenever she turned her protestations of love in his direction, he would lean closer to her, and try not to reach out to her. In the end, he would always try to reach out to her.

He spoke fiercely, as he always did, "Stop that. Please, stop that." Kagome shook her head and continued to tell him she loved him. "Please. Please... I think you're..." He clutched his hand over his heart.

And for a moment, for small, small moment, he looked as though he remembered again as he said, "I love you. I know I love you... I love you so goddamn much."

And then she was gone.

It's been years since that day. In the first year she had tried to go back. She jumped down the well until she nearly killed herself. She slept down there. She dug, and dug, but she remained firmly grounded. Stuck in the fuck-all 1900s.

The next year had been even harder. It was that year she had gotten the idea in her head that there could still be demons about, still be an Inuyasha somewhere in the modern times. She had looked for nearly two years before she realized that if there even WAS an Inuyasha in her time, he wouldn't remember her.

For months she wondered if that even mattered.

She stopped looking with such ferocity, stopped obsessing over illegible scrolls and inaccurate texts. She just stopped.

Still, she wondered if it even mattered. So what if he didn't remember her? So fucking what? She'd still be near him, know he's alive. She'd still be near him.

But those thoughts were growing fewer and fainter as the days, weeks and months wore on and time took its natural toll on her emotions.

Kagome kept her senses sharp and eyes wide open for any sign of demonic, or half-demonic life. But in the meantime, she lived her life as well as she could, pushed friends away, pulled her family close and drowned herself in her schoolwork.

She has dreams of meeting Inuyasha on the street. Hair dyed black so as not to attract attention, cut short to blend in. Blue jeans, sandals, and a horribly ugly jacket. They'd bump into each other, she'd look at his eyes and know it was him, and force her way into his life.

That was her favorite dream.

Other times, she woke up and breathed in the smell of Inuyasha's hair. She could feel Shippo wriggling on her shoulder and bury himself in the crook of her neck. She could feel Inuyasha's hands under her knees as he ran them through the night to pick up the distance they'd lost during the day. She could see Sango and Miroku riding Kirara in her peripheral vision. She would fall back asleep to the sound of forest wind blowing past her and Inuyasha's gentle puffs of breath.

Then, she would wake up. Wonder why the world smelled bad. Touched her hair, and wondered why it wasn't ruined from all the wind. Opened her eyes, and and thought of how ugly florescent lights were.

And in seconds she'd be kneeling on the floor, retching.

Most of the time, she tried not to think about it.

When she did, she wondered if it really mattered whether or not he remembered her.

If he was even alive to remember.

If it would be the same without the others, if maybe full demon Shippo outlived them all. If maybe he was alive, and if it mattered whether or not he remembered her.

And if maybe she can stop loving them, then maybe her heart can stop breaking. Please, just for a moment, she wanted to forget too.


End file.
